Juggle or struggle?

Struggling to keep up with the perception of what it appears everyone else is achieving. Know this, the perception is not a reality. It is a lie!

Does this sound like you?

  • Waking up and jumping out of bed with 1 hour to get out the door and 3 hours’ worth of things to do before leaving the house
  • Forgetting things; dates, appointments, your glasses, your bag … to give your children school lunches … again … oops and again (yep – my true story)
  • Feeling that you haven’t gotten back to people or are letting people down
  • Comparing yourself with your friend, neighbour, colleague etc. and asking yourself how they manage to “do it all”.

Managing the myriad of things involved in todays busy world is like trying to learn to knit on a rollercoaster, not achievable or enjoyable. If you are accustomed to having 4 “to do” lists (including lists about making other lists), a million and 1 tasks to complete and no idea how you will find the time to do them, then maybe you are telling yourself you are juggling but actually you are struggling.

Struggling to keep up with the perception of what it appears everyone else is achieving. Know this, the perception is not a reality. It is a lie!

The lie

Firstly, understand this, no one has it all together or figured out. The perfectly organised lives we imagine others have are just impossible to accomplish in reality. Most of us are walking around trying to keep our heads above water and do the best we can, most of us are often looking over our shoulder thinking “they seem to have the secret, they look like they are kicking goals and remembering to feed their kids lunch”.

How does this happen?

Maybe one of the reasons this happens is that we are not honest with each other, or even ourselves. We often have an unrealistic expectation of what is achievable, or in fact, what is important.

We are also becoming disconnected with our community’s reality and often only seeing things through the edited, controlled lens of social media.

If people only ever judged my life based on what I post on Facebook then I would be someone who:

  • Is a social butterfly
  • Has children who only ever smile
  • Only ever feels soul soaring love and patience and gratitude toward my loved ones

I’ll let you into a secret, like the majority of the human race, that is NOT my reality.

Try this

How about instead we try connection and honesty.

  • Pause. Allowing yourself to calm and restore will give you more ability to focus.
  • Be honest with yourself. How much time and space do you actually have and what are your priorities?
  • Be honest with others. Tell them when you are struggling, not only may this lead to offers of support, help or encouragement but it also offers a model to others about how to express their reality.
  • Find humour. Have a laugh about the complete fails.
  • Know that in the grand scheme of things, what you are likely to care about long term is less to do with what you have achieved from your to do list and more likely to be the memories and connections you have made with the people around you.

So, go out there with your, reprioritised, honest self and let others know that it’s okay for us to share our realities with each other. Its okay to be vulnerable and admit we can’t do it ALL or do it alone.

Remember you can always reach out to us here at Nest and book an appointment with me if you feel you want to work through challenges you are facing with juggling, struggling or any of the above.

If you are struggling and have questions about our counselling services please contact us

Nest Counselling. Juggle or struggle?
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