26 Oct

Posted at 13:57h in Uncategorized

[vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern" css=".vc_custom_1574053760291{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-right: 2% !important;padding-left: 2% !important;}" z_index=""][vc_column][vc_column_text]How relationship therapy works Have you ever found yourself wondering what actually happens at relationship therapy? Have you ever considered if it would be right for your relationship but been uncertain of what to expect? As an experienced relationship therapist, I have worked with lots of people who are experiencing unrest or challenges in their marriage or relationship. I know that for a lot of them, there was apprehension before starting the process around what it would entail. I want to address some of those common concerns for you.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text] Common fears are: The therapist will take sides They will bring up my childhood/past relationships I might hear things I do not want to hear from or about my partner It will make things worse It will be weird sharing our intimate information with a stranger Relationship counselling is not for people like us or problems that we are facing Firstly, having apprehension before coming to therapy is understandable, feeling nervous about the process, what may happen during and after the sessions is also, totally understandable.  I can empathise with those fears because I have been on both sides of...

05 Aug

Posted at 11:11h in Uncategorized

[vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern" css=".vc_custom_1574053760291{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-right: 2% !important;padding-left: 2% !important;}" z_index=""][vc_column][vc_column_text]What it was like for me My first experience with therapy was when I was 19 (see image below of fresh faced, thin eyebrowed person) and struggling to understand and accept my sexuality.  I met with a therapist and my first experience wasn’t great. She was very warm but she reminded me so much of my Mum that I couldn’t be really open as I was terrified of offending or upsetting her.  I found a new therapist (because sometimes this is what you need to do, and that is okay, it’s encouraged) and I worked with her beautifully and gently for the next 12 months in which time I discovered lots about myself and gained new strategies and insights that helped me to feel love and compassion towards myself. Over the next 20 + years I worked with therapists during periods of postnatal depression and also worked with 2 different couples’ therapists, over 2 different relationships.     [/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image="1079" img_size="full" qode_css_animation="element_from_fade" qode_hover_animation="zoom_in"][vc_column_text]I am sharing this because...

28 Mar

Posted at 13:11h in Uncategorized

[vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern" css=".vc_custom_1574053760291{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-right: 2% !important;padding-left: 2% !important;}" z_index=""][vc_column][vc_empty_space][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern"][vc_column][vc_column_text] Stay emotionally and socially connected during physical distancing. We are hearing a lot about ‘social distancing’ but a friend and colleague, Amanda JoyceJoy  founder of https://joythroughtherapy.com.au/educated me recently on a new perspective and use of language that I found helpful.  We do NOT need to socially distance, we are so used to conducting our lives through social media with Insta and Facie becoming such a go to in relationships in our advantage. You can keep physically distant and stay connected to your friends, family, colleagues and clients. Humans need connection As Psychotherapist Dan Roberts explains in this article https://thriveglobal.com/stories/why-humans-need-connection/ humans require connection to be able to flourish.  We are hardwired for it.  We are all individual and therefore we require differing levels of connection, but for the most part we all need it someway. I am what is known as a ‘people person’ I am someone who processes things relationally, this means that I don’t usually need time and space, or text books or journaling to be able to work through something, I need PEOPLE.  I need to talk things through (much to...

21 Mar

Posted at 10:16h in Uncategorized

[vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern" css=".vc_custom_1574053760291{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-right: 2% !important;padding-left: 2% !important;}" z_index=""][vc_column][vc_empty_space][vc_column_text] With the current situation around COVID19 and the advice from officials to keep our physical distance (thanks Amanda for the alternative to ‘social distancing’) you may be concerned about what this means for your mental health and access to your therapist. Let me answer some common concerns around Teletherapy (online/phone) therapy to ensure that you can stay connected to your therapist during these changing times. The first time I tried online therapy (sometimes referred to as Teletherapy), I was the client (well the supervisee), and I was sceptical, and now I LOVE it!  I have often heard people mirroring the concerns I had at first and so I want to address some of them in this blog post in the hope that it may help you to understand how beneficial this approach to therapy can be. My experience I am accredited by PACFA and to ensure I am compliant I must attend 10 sessions every year with a registered supervisor.  I had wanted to work with 2 particularly spectacular supervisors, I thought I couldn’t work with them because of distance and then I discovered online and telephone sessions and...

04 Mar

Posted at 14:52h in Uncategorized

[vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern"][vc_column][vc_column_text] When you find yourself suddenly incapacitated What happens if you have kids, work or other responsibilities and you are suddenly struck down with illness or injury? You need help and support, but it can be hard to ask for. So, I recently found out what happens when you are unexpectedly injured after I fell up (yep, fell UP, and boy did I fall with force, that takes some skill you know) some stairs on my way to take my kid to a yoga class. The fear So the first thing that happened to me was that I felt frightened. I knew I had broken something because when I put my hand on my shoulder I could feel 2 bones where there was supposed to be 1, so a pretty good sign.  Also, I was in a huge amount of pain. I also felt overwhelmed by my responsibilities. I had 3 children with me that I was responsible for and yet I felt totally vulnerable. I then had the unhelpful thought running through my head “don’t make a big deal out of this and don’t put people out” WT actual? My thoughts were running with “How will I manage work...

17 Jan

Posted at 13:57h in Uncategorized

[vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern" css=".vc_custom_1574053760291{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-right: 2% !important;padding-left: 2% !important;}" z_index=""][vc_column][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern"][vc_column][vc_column_text] What do you do when you find yourself in a situation like Haz and Megs? I have been reading the news regarding Harry and Meghan’s decision to make changes to their roles within the Royal Family.  Whilst most of us aren’t royalty or successful TV stars, most of us probably have been at some time torn between what our family wants for us and what we want, or in between the needs of our partners and our families. Ever found yourself having conversations or conflict about where to spend Christmas and the expectations of each of your families? Or how upset your brother, sister, Mum etc makes your partner when they ignore or disrespect them?   Or maybe it’s been something deeper rooted, like following religion your family does or choosing your own path as a couple.  Either way, most of us have faced the decision about how we can hold the needs of our relationship and those of our family. Harry and Meghan It appears to me that Harry and Meghan found themselves in a position where they needed to reflect on...

13 Dec

Posted at 16:43h in Uncategorized

[vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern" css=".vc_custom_1574053760291{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-right: 2% !important;padding-left: 2% !important;}" z_index=""][vc_column][vc_empty_space][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern"][vc_column][vc_column_text]How are you caring for yourself this Christmas? It is December and silly season is upon us once again.  For those of us who celebrate this holiday, some will be decorating houses, spending up a storm and “cheersing” (yep, I am making it a word) to Christmas merriment.  But not everyone will be feeling festive and merry.  For some, Christmas can be a time that highlights for them family frictions, isolation, financial stress, social anxiety or grief. So, how can you look after yourself at this time of year?  Firstly, know that it is okay if you don’t want to celebrate this holiday period.  We all have a right to refuse invitations, choose not to put up a tree, choose not to partake in gift or card giving without explanation or apology. If you find a particular aspect of the holidays hard then acknowledge this and look at what it is that causes you distress.  That way, you can try to ask yourself what support you may need around the challenge. Financial Stress If you are struggling financially and feel the strain of...

25 Nov

Posted at 13:57h in Uncategorized

I have lots of couples say to me when they first reach out, “I think our problems are too big to be fixed” in reality, most of the time (not all but most) they don’t have to be if you don’t want them to be. The real question is this, do you both want things to improve? ...